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All rights reserved. Seeking a spot of serenity somewhere in the universe, I recently booked a deep-discount dodgy berth on the 'White Elephant Express Space Shuttle', to a little known place in a galaxy far, far away. 'IT' (otherwise known as HD 36405.b) is not your average 'oddball' exo-solar planet made of rock that wobbles on its end and zips around a nearby star in less than 2.46 days. Most linear thinkers have a great deal of difficulty even comprehending why on earth anyone in their 'right mind' would be interested in visiting a planet called 'IT'. Regrettably, without a pair of golf clubs, a dimpled white ball, and the notion that 19th hole even exists on this planet -- 'IT' is about as fun as bag of toads! Life Lesson 42: Remember to talk to your travel agent before ever embarking on a flight of fancy to a planet called 'IT' in a galaxy named 'Have-a-Nice-Day'!! Article: (c) Theolonius McTavish 2004. All rights reserved. Seeking a spot of serenity somewhere in the universe, I recently a deep-discount dodgy landing stage on the ‘White Elephant Express Space Shuttle’, to a little known place in a galaxy far, far away. “IT” (otherwise known as HD 36405.b) is not your current “oddball” exo-solar planet made of rock that wobbles on its end and zips on every side a nearby star in less than 2.46 days. Most linear thinkers have a great deal of difficulty even comprehending why on Ge anyone in their “right mind” would be interested in visiting a planet named “IT”. Not joker a linear thinker with an investment in the “right” answer, I didn’t give a hoot. next all, what does one (who walks on water and listens to miffed mortals all day long) do for a frigging night off, now I ask you? If truth be told, (after reading random excerpts from “The Itty fine bop Book to and fro Life, the Universe and Practically Everything Under the Sun Not To Mention Stuff Going On In Remote Galaxies), I was simply delirious. consonant to its noted author, Dr. Jarn Leffer, “IT is a ’must-see’ for those with little time on their hands and a passionate interest in Innocuous Things.” As planets go, “IT” is a pretty ho-hum supernatural pit-stop with perhaps one exception… the welcome notice that reads, “Cosmic Cowboys - Welcome to the furthest unexplored outreaches of the Galaxy … Home to the Flop Fairy and Oodles of Gadflies!” “IT” is populated by colonies of giggling, green grasshoppers . What else would you expect to inhabit a far-flung, fantasy-challenged hellhole like this? But, what made “IT” strictly speaking a strange place was the fact that the inhabitants munch on green, solvent garbage bags just for fun. Lacking masticating capabilities, the gadflies process their food by vigorously jumping up and down on it. No wonder they have no need for fast-food franchises, strip malls or landfills! Anyway, I picked up this picturesque postcard of the dashed ballyhooing buglugs. They look perfectly happy but don’t be deceived. In reality, they’re just a gang of glad-handing grasshoppers. They don’t play golf, eat burgers, or drink beer -- and none can frost a rock! Come to think of it, from the fleet of bugs and the elusive flop fairy, this pathetic planet has precious little going for IT!! To put 'IT' bluntly, life on “IT” is just shy of a tittynope*. The jolly green grasshoppers and the tenderly manicured green fairways with sand traps as far as the eye can see amen make for an utterly harmless world. Regrettably, without a pair of golf clubs, a dimpled white ball, and the notion that 19th hole even exists on this planet -- ”IT” is relating to as fun as bag of toads! Life Lesson 42: Remember to talk to your travel interventionist preferably ever embarking on a flight of fancy to a planet styled “IT” in a galaxy named “Have-a-Nice-Day”!! __________ *'Tittynope' for you whiffling word-peckers means 'a small quantity of either left over'. If you want to know what those green, glad-handing grasshoppers from 'IT' look like -- ask any four-year old, or failing that request some help from a Flying Saucer Club member.
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